The London Vampire: Afterthoughts


By Ecky Thump lass, where’s me black puddin’ and ferret?

The above picture is one of typical northerners demonstrating their love and gratitude for those in the South East and London but especially those in the City whose munificence has enabled northerners to breed ferrets and afford luxuries like black pudding and tripe. Yesterdays blog has appeared to have raised more hackles than usual as I fulminated against the spending decisions of Westminster that appear just a tad biased towards the South in that they get the actual money and the North gets a few more vague promises. This, apparently makes me a “chippy northerner” who fails to understand that London, especially the City,  funds everything and the rest of us ought to be grateful recipients of whatever crumbs and platitudes are thrown this way. Gulliver, a BBC commenter, had this to say which rather tickled me.

The Government policy on London:

  1. Build more infrastructure in London
  2. More infrastructure encourages more investment and jobs in London
  3. More people move to London for these jobs
  4. Transport in London still overcrowded, so…
  5. Go back to step 1, and repeat forever

 The Government policy for the rest of the UK: –

  1. It doesn’t really matter so long as London is OK.

But of course I’m sure he or she is just another Northerner with a chip on his or shoulder which is exactly how Andy Burnham and his freshly elected super mayors will be treated, they’re clearly there to be seen and not heard. As the investment decisions were announced after the parliamentary recess they’ll have all summer to figure out what, if anything, they’re actually for and what to do about the broken promises made about the Northern PowerHouse. A word to the wise mayors, people are spittingly angry about this so it had better be good.

So what makes London so awesomely brilliant at the tax revenue they provide the UK? Wowsers, it looks pretty damn good I have to say. How’s this for a start? “The capital generated just under 30% of the national ‘economy taxes’(1) in 2014/15 – an increase of 5 percentage points on its share of the national ‘economy tax’ intake in 2004/5. Over the entire ten year period, London accounted for 43% of the ‘economy tax’ generated in UK cities”. Wowsers again. How about ” Nearly half (46%) of Great Britain’s service exports came from London in 2015, amounting to £100.4bn. This is more than the rest of England’s service exports put together (£96.3bn), and 11% higher than its level in 2011 (£90.1bn)”. Treble wowsers! Allister Heath is creaming his trousers when he writes “It is an astonishing story. London’s share of the UK’s economic output has just reached an all-time high of 21.9 per cent”. Quadruple wowsers!!

There’s a hundred and one more quotes I can do about London’s contribution to the UK economy but what I want to know is why London contributes so much to the UK economy, shouldn’t I be grateful that those taxes fund so much spending in the North? No. For a start Money Monetary Theory knows that taxes don’t fund anything, London generates taxation because that’s where all the investment goes. There is a question of real resources here, does the UK have the manpower to upgrade so much of its rail capacity in the timescale needed? I doubt it so you do a cost/benefit analysis and guess who will win that? Where are all the highest paid public sector jobs? Bless my soul London. The problem in the UK is that there are no second and third cities everything is in London and business cash from everywhere is banked in London.

Then of course there is the so called jewel in the crown the City of London, not London, the square mile that is surely the most corrupt place on planet earth. I am assured that it would be A Very Bad Thing Indeed if the bankers were to leave because they are out benefactors. Oh really? Shaun Richards has an absolute gem of a blog describing that the truth is that we have become the servants of the “precious”, his pet name for the financial sector. He also describes very pithily what makes the City so important and above the real economy “After all they only make real things as opposed to the important job of sending pieces of imaginary paper around the financial system”. Meanwhile back at CityAM Mr Heath is continuing his multiple orgasm over the city ” Yes, that’s right, despite the crisis, and the City’s woes, London accounts for more of Britain’s economy that at any time in recorded history”.

Well, that certainly puts us scrounging northerners in our place, it’s all our fault stealing their hard earned tax money to waste on unproductive public sector jobs, what low life thieving bast… swines we are. Clearly I must be very foolish to tax their existence to within an inch of their lives, starting with a Financial Transactions Tax, and will happily wave any who wish to leave goodbye. You see I’m not quite as impressed as Mr Heath by London’s performance since the crisis, and I know it’s terribly bad manners to raise this, but there is the tiny matter of the £1.2 Trillion (and still rising) bail out that just might go some small way as to explaining why the majority of our “recovery” went to London. We don’t need any lectures from you guys about public subsidy thank you very much. I hope you read Shauns blog.

I am starting to think that the Tories have hired some of Trump’s press team when they counter the anger caused by the the £32 billion crossrail decision with “A Department for Transport spokesman said more than £1bn would be spent on improving the rail infrastructure (in the north) over the next five years”. Thanks BBC satire is becoming impossible. Finally a quick word on how the BBC reports our earth shatteringly marvellous growth of 0.3%. It has a picture of men busy making stuff, when in fact “The ONS said the growth was driven by services, particularly retail, which more than offset falls in output in the manufacturing and construction sectors. So what is driving this growth? again from the BBC “Labour MP Rachel Reeves, who worked at HBOS during the crisis, said regulators needed to be “forever vigilant”.She echoed the Bank of England which warned earlier this week of a sharp rise in household debt and car loans.

Debt driven growth (the interest on which accrues in London) extended to creditors whose wages are falling. What could go wrong?





Photo Credit: Playbuzz

7 thoughts on “The London Vampire: Afterthoughts

  1. it seems the old joke about the North is “true” , from Watford to Edinborough there’s only wasteland where the nuclear waste is dumped

    which is very sad as there are many fine people and cities there ( having my ancestors come down from Sunderland to Feltham during the Jarrow march ) and bootiful country side.

    still its the London tail that wags the UK dog , Even for Surrey which is just a Dorma for London parasites , sorry city slickers , has issues with good roads and schools , OK not possibly the same neglect as the Northern Powerhouse , or is that now shed or lean too ?

    move Ox-bridge north of Brum ?

    does anyone have any ideas to help this sassanach get NP some deserved help ?


    Liked by 1 person

  2. “The capital generated just under 30% of the national ‘economy taxes’(1) in 2014/15 – an increase of 5 percentage points on its share of the national ‘economy tax’ intake in 2004/5. Over the entire ten year period, London accounted for 43% of the ‘economy tax’ generated in UK cities”

    I know that Germany is still the bad boy in town because of them starting WW1, but let’s look at their economy and compare it to Britain’s.

    London’s GDP (roughly equivalent to its tax revenues) is around 37.6% of Britain’s GDP (counting London and the home counties – using the only stats I can find, which isn’t easy).

    Now: Let’s look at the same sort of proportion in Germany, the areas that comprise 50% of Germany’s GDP:

    North Rhine-Westphalia €645.590 (21.3 %)
    Bavaria …………………… €549.190 (18.1 %)
    Baden-Württemberg …… €460.687 (15.2 %)

    Berlin itself provides around 4.1% of GDP.

    The point here is that the industrialized areas of Germany, that is to say, the major areas of economic generation, are widespread. Baden-Württemberg in the south west, Bayern in south central Germany. Still they are mainly in the west, the former BRD; for obvious reasons. The industrial heartland around Leipzig is still re-establishing itself after the disastrous management of the DDR. The area in the West of Schlesien around Görlitz are also in this position. Around Breslau… the position is still dire – but that’s in Poland now.

    Part of Germany’s strength is the fact that it is not centralized in the way Britain is. Britain still thinks that Germany is like Britain in that everything’s ordered by the centralized government… but that’s because that’s how British journalists think.


    1. That was precisely my point, I thought the idea of the Northern Powerhouse was to create a secondary economic region and develop second and third cities. This idea clearly won’t get past our masters in the City, they hate competition.


      1. I understand your point; my point was that the situation in Germany existed in the 1880s.

        Germany’s primary railway line runs between Cologne and Frankfurt, and has been since it was first built. Whilst the prestige expresses ran from Cologne through Berlin to Königsberg, they never had the importance.

        Britain could have done the same: but instead allowed four main lines between London and Manchester. The government has never really had the idea of what really needs to happen. But then, the business community themselves only want to make money… rather than do business.

        The two are not the same.


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