This parrot is not pining for the fjords
I’m skipping intended blog today because of a tweet I read, which is the title of this piece. I found it shocking because it was written by Daily Mail columnist Peter Hitchens. I always thought of him as the most Tory of Tories writing for that hate filled rag which I generally avoid at all costs. It’s amazing how little you can know about someone or something until you dig down a little. I had always known he was religious and believed the state couldn’t replace God and that sex education was a terrible thing. As far as I’m aware he still believes these things as if the internet and the back of the bike shed didn’t exist. It also ignores the vast majority evidence that suggests such education is vital. Your God is your own business not mine and as far as I’m concerned has no place in government bar the House of Lords.
This blog is non politically aligned but that doesn’t mean I don’t have an opinion, I couldn’t have written that title better myself. The Tory party died in 1979 and the its current incarnation of zombification needs a silver bullet through its brain, a stake through the heart and burying in a lead lined casket. Currently it is nailed to its perch but identified as well and truly dead by its last irate owner, the public who comprised it’s membership. The Conservative Clubs used to be like LinkedIn before the internet became a thing, get yourself signed in and network. Ask around long enough you’d always find a job. They were great places, full of nice people, cigar smoke and useful contacts. The fact the beer was subsidised helped a lot too.
So why am I not a conservative? More to the point, why do I want to spit with rage at the mere mention of them? I mean I should be a Tory I did all the right things to become one. You know what they say, anyone who isn’t a Socialist in their youth has no heart, any adult who still is a Socialist hasn’t a head. In my youth, like Hitchens, I joined the Young Socialists in that communist hotbed Lytham St-Annes and we all called each other Comrade and planned the glorious revolution. Then I travelled abroad and actually got to see the miracle of Communism first hand. Oh it was bleak, row after row, block after block of shoddy concrete apartment blocks, nothing, and I mean nothing in the shops, the people were friendly but joy was a hard commodity to come by. The sheer desolation just ate you alive, it absorbed you. I am truly inoculated against Communism.
It was there my interest in politics ended, I knew nothing about economics and did what all late teen/early twenty’s should be doing, I drank beer and chased women. I should have naturally drifted into the Conservative movement, I had a white middle class upbringing, went to church and a strong family. My parents had blue blood in their veins, stood for traditional values and hated unions with a passion. I doubt they’d recognise the party as it stands today and I don’t either. I hardly ever voted and when I did I’d usually draw a willy on my ballot paper because that was original and funny. Or not as the case may be. I spent most of the 80’s and 90’s in a haze and whatever may or may not have happened I have an excuse, I was drunk at the time. Happy days.
Fast forward to 1997, I started my degree part-time and the age of Blair and things can only get better, I pat myself on the back to this day for recognising the fraud on day one. The Labour party had gone as I knew it and Major, better than many realised at the time, barely registered with me at all. Come the millennium I was building a career and just too damn busy to care. Then it happened, the Great Financial Crash, and my interest in politics was rekindled but especially economics. As the queen asked “why did no-one see this coming”? I stopped watching TV and researched this instead, no I don’t get out much. I had always read the Daily Telegraph, which was actually once a quality paper. They just blamed Gordon Brown for “proliferate spending” and I was supposed to believe that that was the cause of the crashed American subprime lending and exotic forms of private debt.
So into the blogosphere I went and found out that there were people who told us what was going to happen, I’m not going into that today but a good place to start is Steve Keen. My beliefs haven’t changed, I think a mixed economy is best, that unions are essential to balance power in the workplace, a thriving working and middle class drives our economy, not a few rich people, our greatest bulwark against civil unrest are our institutions and anybody should be free to start a business. When did this start meaning I’m a Socialist? Yet the Socialists say I’m a nasty Capitalist, someone has moved the goalposts here so I, like many others, am left tribeless. And the politicians wonder why so many people don’t vote, who for?
Hitchens spent years bouncing from one party to another desperately seeking to re-establish social small c conservatism, a futile task in my opinion especially since the things he pines for have probably never existed outside his own nostalgia. I drifted from party looking for whoever had grasped a new economics was needed after the Great Financial Crash, one that included banks and private debt. It certainly wasn’t the Tories, as a party representing people it was dead, just like that parrot. The Tories have two answers to everything monetise it or force people further into debt. The logical end game of this is a state that just protects private property. No NHS, No Welfare System, Private Education, private everything. Do you really want that? Be very careful what you wish for.
Corbyn may be a Marmite figure, you love him or hate him, but there is no damage he can cause that’s worse than what I have described. Everything he proposes can be reversed, once the NHS is gone it’s gone forever. I have devised a two question test and if you can’t answer yes to one of the two questions you are not a Tory.
- Can you afford a minimum of a five figure donation to the party annually?
- Can you afford to hire a private lobbyist to promote your policy?
You are not a Tory, I hope I broke that to you gently.